Losing My Angel
by KlausCarolineLover
Summary: Castiel/Inara, Mal - Sunset


Slipping off the ship to see my clients was growing harder, or to do my 'whoring' as Mal would love to put it, because of my group of family members that wanted to know my every movement.

(and these days Mal watched me a little more than I was used to)

Of course River dear knew just what I was doing and loved to be a curious little cat about it, and I would end up caught at the door answering too many questions about the 'birds and the bees'.

('Can you let me come and watch, Inara, pretty please with snow globes on top?')

However, this time I was able to fly off without any trouble, and it was a relief because my biggest client who rarely sent for me had finally called.

I don't know what Mal would do if he knew I was at his beck and call because he made up most of earnings per year; offer to steal it for me most likely.

"Mr. Winchester?"

Instead of the grinning fool I was used to greeting me, with the never ending parade of women that he used to forget his past life, I was faced with only eerie silence.

(a hidden part of me was disappointed that I wouldn't get to see his grin or curtsy to his silly bow)

"Won't you ever call me Cas? I've known you for so damn long, Inara, and all I ever hear is Mr. Winchester, and I loathe it."

Before I could think I ran to him, out of all of the high stationed men that bought me for the weekend he was the only one I ever cared for, wondering along the way if this would be the end.

(the last time he called for me, which had been so long ago, I could already see his spark starting to fade in his eyes)

"It's not even my last name, Inara, it belonged to a long lost friend of mine. I don't deserve to even wear it, my dear."

His silly grin has been stripped away, the one that had stayed with me long after our first night together (and how he had been my first), and replaced with that of a smile of a dying man.

"Who did this to you, Mr.-Cas?"

The room that had once been filled with the many delicacies and beauties of the world was now an empty shell and his blood coated every inch of it like a new coat of paint.

(that damn blood coated over the memories of this room being my safe haven where I pretended this was all I wanted with my life to be wanted)

"Don't try and help me, my dear, it's a lost cause. My day has been coming for centuries now; all I can do is welcome it."

I wasn't about to leave him bleeding to death in this tomb of a home, one that has relics from the world he would weep about in my arms (saying Dean's name with every sob), but when I tried to save him I only got pushed away.

"Keep those tears locked up, Inara, I don't deserve them as much as I don't deserve the title of angel anymore. It's over."

Just for me he kept a smile firm on his lips, but I could see that he had given up a long time ago, decided that he didn't want to outlive one more loved one. I held his hand as tightly as I could, hoping it would keep him here with me, as he watched the last sunset he would ever get to see.

(remembering that day years he ago as he kicked me out he whispered about 'not wanting to see me die, because he loved me far too much')

"It doesn't have to be, Cas."

As the sobs began to rush out he pulled me into his arms, changing up the order of things as he was the one comforting me, as I nestled my head on his neck I got hear the moment his heart stopped beating.

(leaving as he placed one last kiss on my forehead, saying things about how wonderful my life was going to be)

Back Serenity before I had a chance to let all that had happened sink in, while also trying not to run into River and her questioning mind, I got the pleasure of one of Mal's many quips.

(I've heard more than a hundred 'whore' jokes on this ship alone)

"Have fun on your trip, Inara? I bet the John really enjoyed it, who wouldn't?"

(waiting for the day that an Mal would admit any type of feelings would be like waiting for our bad luck to turn around)

"He did not simply enjoy it, Mal, it rocked his world. But I'm talking about something you've never had the pleasure of experiencing, Captain."

I left him with his mouth hanging open, trying to get my mind ready for the next day of working but all I could see was Cas's grinning face and the pain that was hiding beneath it.

(the tears for him were kept in my pillow so the good old captain wouldn't see my weakness, praying that Cas was finally free of his guilt)

"Tell Dean I said hi, angel. It's a name you've always deserved to wear, Cas."


End file.
